Bottom of the Food Chain

What is it that makes us foreigners so distinguishable amongst the masses of people that fill the streets of Paris daily? Apart from us speaking English, we really don’t stand out that much, do we? It can’t always be the way we dress - some of us abide strictly by the Parisian fashion laws, blending ourselves in with the neutral blur of people. Is it our culture-given mannerisms that give us away? I know our reactions are much more exaggerated but it’s not like I walk around Paris as a constant chain of reactions. Whatever it is, it’s noticeable. Not to us, of course, but to the native city dwellers we might as well be walking around with a flashing TOURIST sign hovering over our heads. It’s not a bad thing really, we are in fact foreign and no matter how hard I try I never will be French. But I find myself loathing the status that comes with being a foreigner. Because to the natives, being a foreigner is no different than being a tourist. And even though I no longer classify myself as being in the “tourist” category, the French people don’t acknowledge a difference. So there I go, always pushed right back down into the bottom of the food chain.

Whenever I see or hear people in the city speaking English I always wonder if they’re tourists, or like me. Me being someone who is making their life is this country, slowly but surely finding their place. At times it’s obvious : the fanny packs, the oversized Paris metro maps, the hideous hiking boots, the American flag sweatshirts, the southern accents. Other times it’s a little more difficult (like I said, some of us do achieve some degree of blendingness). But it makes me wonder what people think when they see or hear me in the midst of my daily routine. I assume people around me on the metro think I’m French when they see me reading various French novels, but what do they think once I answer my phone and start speaking in English? I’m sure I’m not that convincing, but I like to flatter myself with the idea that at least some people get confused when they see me juggling both languages.

But what really gets to me is when people stop me on the street and immediately start speaking in English. Most of the time when this happens I’m alone, I haven’t been speaking with anyone in any language, and I feel like I have finally mastered the icy look of indifference that the French carry regularly. What gives me away? I’m always being targeted to give someone some kind of donation for God-knows-what purpose, stopped and asked where I’m from or if I speak English, or simply hassled for being a touriste américaine. Even when the far from attractive Arab gangsters try to hit on me and I say and do absolutely nothing they immediately respond, “Oh, you speek Eengleesh ? Yoo ah not Frenzch?” What are the French girls doing that I apparently am not? Am I really supposed to tell these guys off every time? I was under the impression that saying anything just egged them on, but if blowing up in their faces makes me appear more French then I’m willing to give it a shot.

The absolute worst though, is the infamous eye-roll. As soon as I open my mouth and that adorable American accent comes pouring out people do one of three things : 1) respond in English, which 99% of the time is way worse than my French, 2) respond in French but every couple of sentences they throw in basic English vocabulary such as “left” or “chicken” (like they’re really doing me any favors), or 3) roll their eyes and rid themselves of my presence as quickly as possible. I try to empathize, I really do try to see how me speaking imperfectly accented French so severely affects their day. But as expected, I just don’t see it. But every time a French person rolls their eyes at me my ego takes a little blow. After four months here I really am proud of the progress I’ve made and I love to show it off every chance I get. So when the French give me that annoyed look saying ugh, another damned tourist to deal with I can’t help but feel at least a little discouraged.

But after all is said and done, life as a foreigner isn’t all too bad no matter how many eye rolls I’ve collected during the day. I almost always only have to pay half of the posted cab fare, if any at all, I get into various night clubs free of charge every weekend and never have to wait in line. And I can get away with just about anything, all I have to do is drop the, “Oh I didn’t know, I’m not from here I didn’t see that sign!” line and all is taken care of. Yeah it would be nice to eventually one day be indistinguishable and be able to manage life here as comfortably as I do in the US, but quite frankly, neutrals just aren’t my color.