Precious Moments

A week from today I will be in Paris. I don`t even know what tone that sentence is supposed to be read in or which punctuation mark it should have ended with. Every week brings a new set of emotions it`s hard to tell how I actually feel about it all. Am I nervous, am I excited, am I sad, am I scared? I couldn`t say because no one emotion dominates the rest. Last week I was ecstatic, couldn`t wait to leave. There was a little sadness because I left Long Beach and had to say goodbye to all the people who have made the past two years of my life more than I could have ever asked for. But overall, I just wanted to get back home to Nor Cal because being home meant that I was getting ready to leave. But in fact I have spent most of my days by myself inside of my house doing nothing because I can still barely walk (long story short I fell off the monkey bars at a park about a week ago). There really isn`t much left to do before I leave. In my mind everything was so hectic: I had to pack, buy luggage, go to the bank, renew my ID...listing these things off I can`t even remember anything else I thought I had to do, but even then all those things could be done in a matter of hours. I think all this alone time is making me realize what living on my own in Paris will feel like. I`m sure I`ll have more than enough things to do to keep me busy but at the end of the day, what am I coming home to? A bottle of wine and FaceBook by myself since the time difference keeps my friends, family and I on completely different schedules? That actually doesn`t sound half bad, especially since "me time" is definitely something I felt I was lacking this summer since I couch surfed the past two months. But all this is beside the point. . .

The point is I`m leaving in 6 days and these last 6 days feel like an eternity !!! I already found an apartment that is out of this world - almost too good to be true. It`s not mine yet but I kinda jumped the gun assuming that nothing would go wrong in the process of getting it and now I`m just anxious with anticipation checking my email every five minutes waiting to hear back from the owner. A two bedroom apartment in the center of Paris for 700 euros a month all utilities included - what ?! It`s a STEAL. And here I thought I was going to end up living in a studio apartment half the size of a dorm room and paying 1000 euros at least. Now if something does go wrong nothing I find will be good enough. But that`s all part of the experience. Having no idea what`s about to happen but rolling with it anyway. I can`t really afford to be picky or get upset about any situation. Because any moment I spend not being completely and utterly happy and appreciative of what I`m experiencing is a moment of the best year of my life lost forever. Because right now a year seems like a long time to be gone but I know it`s going to fly by and once I`m back in the states I`m going to look back and wish I had more time. And I hope that`s all I`m wishing for too. More time. I hope I`m not wishing I had done anything differently or more-so done something I hadn`t. So cheers to that. Cheers to never saying no, rolling with the punches, and living for the moment. Cos really that`s all life is. A bunch of little moments all stacked on top of each other, one bringing you to the next. And I, for one, do not want to miss a thing.